Dear Friend: Don't Start Fundraising Letters as a Stranger
by Alan Sharpe
Published on this site: September 1st, 2005 - See
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Dear Friend:
Don't do it.
Don't start your fundraising letters with "Dear Friend."
After all, when was the last time you received a letter from
someone dear to you, addressing you as "Dear Friend?"
Never, right? The days of the Dear Friend letter are dead.
So let's bury the Dear Friend letter together.
I heard recently of a chairman of the board of a national
charity who has given his charity millions of dollars and
hundreds of hours of his time, yet he still receives their
fundraising appeals addressing him as "Dear Friend."
Ouch.
Your fundraising letters are intended to make friends as
well as solicit funds. So don't send form letters to make
friends. Friends write personal letters. Letters addressed
to their friends by name. My wife never sends me a letter
that begins, "Dear Friend." Neither do my friends.
And neither should you when writing to your donors.
I realize that personalization costs more. I know that you
save money if you send everyone the same Dear Friend letter.
You don't have to insert custom fields into your letter. You
don't have to perform a time-consuming mail-merge. You don't
have to match the addresses on your letters with the addresses
on your reply cards and mailing envelopes (assuming you are
using closed-face envelopes).
You can compare your costs for mailing a personalized letter
versus mailing a Dear Friend letter, and you'll also find
that the Dear Friend letter is cheaper. But I'd like to suggest,
and so I will, that you are measuring the wrong thing.
Return on investment shouldn't be your only criteria for
measuring the success of your fundraising letters. What about
donor loyalty? What about donor attrition? What about the
lifetime value of each donor? What about plain old courtesy?
Donors stop giving for any number of reasons, but at the
top of the list is feeling unappreciated. Think of that chairman
of the board that I mentioned a minute ago. Can't you just
hear him saying to himself, as he receives yet another Dear
Friend appeal, "I have given this charity millions of
dollars and hundreds of hours of my time, and they treat me
as though they don't even know my name"?
Yes, Dear Friend letters are expedient. But expedience is
not your only aim in running a successful fundraising letter
program. Robbing banks is also expedient, but it's not right.
Using guilt as a motivator in your letters is also expedient.
It raises funds in the short term. But it's not right. And
starting every letter with Dear Friend is more expedient than
customizing each letter, but it's not the right thing to do.
You should bury the Dear Friend letter because it is impersonal
and rude. It alienates perfectly nice donors, people who will
continue to support your organization with their treasure,
time and talents if you will only treat them as partners and
not as automated bank machines. Addressing your donors by
name makes them feel special and appreciated.
At the Business Depot where I buy my office supplies, there
is a store clerk who always remembers my name. She serves
hundreds of customers. Yet when I approach the cash, she makes
me feel like I'm a special customer. I feel a little flattered
every time. Her name, by the way, is Allyson.
Specialists in customer service have long known that remembering
a customer's name-and using it-is one of the most effective
ways (and free ways) to encourage repeat business, customer
loyalty and free word-of-mouth advertising. The same is just
as true in fundraising, although I have no empirical studies
to back that up.
Please don't start your letters with Dear Friend. Donors
take it personally.

Alan Sharpe is a professional fundraising letter writer.
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