Samuel Clemens (also known as Mark Twain) once said that
achievement is 99 percent perspiration and one percent inspiration.
Being persistent and getting through frustrations and set
backs and sweating whatever difficulties you encounter will
get you where you want to go.
The Capacity to Dream
If you're really motivated, you can find answers to life's
dilemmas through your dreams. Our unconscious minds are
much smarter than we are in our waking hours. My computer
consultant was once stumped by a problem with my computer.
He dreamt the answer!
The Ability to Nourish Ourselves and Others
The ultimate parental challenge! Use that red pencil of
yours to circle and highlight everything that you and your
loved ones do that's RIGHT. It's as simple as praising your
dog when he toilets on the street and ignoring him when
he has an accident on your priceless Persian rug. This activity
goes on (hopefully) in every therapist's office, employee
evaluation session, and classroom in this country: highlighting
what is right with a person or situation instead of focusing
on mistakes that can't be changed..
Competitiveness with Self
With the willingness and determination to compete with yourself
on whatever the task of your choice, you will get better
and better all the time. This means a real disregard of
that old narcissistic need for applause, adoration, and
worship.
The Ability to Love
Freud said that the reason for his phenomenal success was
that his mother was madly in love with him. Parental love
is a key element in fostering amazing accomplishments in
children. It also translates to self-love; adults can learn
to parent themselves in a similar fashion.
Integrity
In these frenetic times, achievement and accomplishment
become such a driving force that we often overlook the basic values of
integrity and honesty. Extraordinary people never take shortcuts
and will not compromise on their personal belief systems.
When an extraordinary achiever wants to create his or her
vision, compromise and dishonesty are out of the picture.
Gratitude
Those who cannot achieve are burdened by envy; those who
can achieve feel tremendous gratitude for that which they've
been endowed. People who get swallowed up by the "Green
Monster" remain unable to achieve and excel; they slowly
wither away with self-pity, resentment, and feelings of
deprivation. On the other hand, people who can emulate those
whom they envy often achieve their goals.
Aspiration
You can learn a great deal about yourself by examining that
which you aspire to. Do you aim high? You should. Why not?
Aspirations are our hopes and dreams; they are fuel for
our joy and contentment. If you tend to aim low, think about
why that might be. Children whose aspirations are encouraged,
supported, and nurtured are confident in achieving their
goals. Children who hear statements like, "You could
never do that," or "You're not smart enough to
do that," soon give up on reaching their goals and
eventually forget what they ever were in the first place.
If you've forgotten what your aspirations were, it's never
too late to resurrect them. Aspire and achieve.
The Ability to Give
Money, power, fame and glory is not enough to make you happy.
Those elements, of course, tend to help make things easier and
I, for one, would not disavow any of them. However, surprisingly,
all of the money and power in the world is not what tends
to motivate the greatest of achievers. The artist, scientist,
businessman, politician, writer, doctor or what have you
who truly feels great about his or her achievements almost
always focuses on giving something back to the world. Being
able to make a lasting contribution is the best motivator
on earth. Truly impressive achievers give something back
to the world in vision, scope, and inspiration.
Focus
Those who succeed in their aspirations and reach their goals
do so with blinders on. While great achievers tend to have
a generalist's hunger for knowledge and a curiosity for
all that's happening in the world, they also possess a precision
of focus when they set themselves to a task and are determined
to achieve a goal.
All of us who've survived into the 21st Century are exceptional,
whether we know it or not. We each possess the above characteristics
in some measure. Our job in the new millennium is to nurture
these qualities to further develop excellence in our lives.
Mark Sichel is a psychotherapist, consultant, and speaker
on a broad range of issues related to family, mental health,
and interpersonal problems. He is the editor and principal
author of the award winning self-help website, www.psybersquare.com.
For a more detailed guide to overcoming the panic brought
on by dysfunctional family experiences, read Mark Sichel's
new book, Healing From Family Rifts : Ten Steps to Finding
Peace After Being Cut Off From a Family. For more information
about this book visit the author's website: www.marksichel.com
