What Makes You Special ?
by Kunbi Korostensky
Published on this site: July 14th, 2005 - See
more articles from this month...
Many people are too busy today trying to fit themselves into
the image of other people. This ranges from physical appearance
to dressing mannerism right to extreme character imitations.
And although I can understand the underlying feelings of
insecurity which trigger such actions, still it goes without
saying that this 'unhealthy' habit can be detrimental to your
one big asset: recognizing and developing your uniqueness.
Some people are either afraid to show who they really are,
because they believe that other people are better than them.
Or as a result of lack of inner consciousness, they are just
not aware of their own special gifts.
First of all, there is nothing wrong with being who you are.
In fact, the more you are willing to be yourself, the better
is your chance of being authentic and special. Then no amount
of any artistical imitation will ever make a strong indelible
impact on other people or makes you feel better about yourself.
It is better to be a first class 'you' than a third rate imitation
of some celebrity. At least this way, you will be upholding
the true spirit of individualism and helping along the course
of evolution.
Secondly, regardless of how or what you may at present think
of yourself, you are still special and that is what other
people want to see and experience in you. Psycho-logically,
people are more attracted to someone who is genuine. So don't
try to be what you are not.
If you are still in doubt about what is special about you,
start by asking yourself these 3 questions:
- How do people react to me when I am with them?
- When in a crowd, am l more interested in voicing my opinion
or do I listen intently to others?
- When decisions are made, do I accept to go along with
the majority, or is upholding my values more important to
me?
Each of these questions can prompt you to look deeper into
yourself and recognise what you may be missing: your special
abilities.
Your strength lies in your inherent abilities. For these
are the gifts of the spirit, the real you.
Learn to know what your assets are and what makes you stand
out from the crowd.
The best way to do this is to focus on what you know gives
you passion, joy and deep satisfaction. I once had to give
a friend some new perspectives about herself. She complained
constantly about how people around her were getting along
while she felt left behind. One day as I istened again to
her lamentations, it suddenly dawned on me that she had been
focusing on other peoples' lives instead of on her own.
I pointed this out to her and encouraged her to look into
herself and her life. She was to find out what she could genuinely
admire about herself and recognise as her inherent strength.
Well, it didn't take her long to turn the table. She decided
that her life hadn't been such "a disaster" after
all. In fact she came up with what made her to be such a great
friend to have around. Her exceptional ability to remain calm
and compose in the face of difficult situation.
Once you know what it is that makes you special, keep grooming
it until it shines out in all its glory. Thus the saying "who
you are speaks so loudly I can't hear what you're saying"
becomes your true shield and emblem.
Kunbi Korostensky N.D., Psychotherapist and Certified
Life Coach is specialised in supporting people going through
various life changes, such as after a divorce, bereavement
and dealing effectively with teenagers. Check out her ebooklet:
Top 10 holistic Questions to Embrace Change and Grow at http://www.embracingchanges.com.BooksandCDs.html
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