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How to Be in Charge (without Being a Jerk)
by Judy Murdoch
More Management Articles
Published on this site: November 19th, 2009 - See
more articles from this month
Earlier this year, I was working at a sales training seminar and
we were on the topic of handling customer objections.
A participant who owns a massage therapy practice was asking how
to best address a prospective client who didn't want to follow
his recommended course of treatment.
We then asked other audience members to share their experience. A
couple people spoke up and their advice, however well-intended,
felt off to me.
The advice focused on listening and negotiating with the
prospect: finding a compromise position between what the
prospective client was willing to do and what the massage
therapist was prescribing.
I took the microphone back, and said, "You know what, you've
been a massage therapist for years. You know what works and what
doesn't work. You're the expert here and if you don't think
what you're client is asking for is going to help, tell them
that and stand firm on your recommendation."
It was uncomfortable to disagree with these other two
professionals. They had a lot of experience in sales and
marketing but in this case they were missing an important point:
# When you own a business and offer expert advice, you're the
boss. You're the leader and customers are coming to you for your
leadership.
Isn't Saying "What I Say, Goes" Arrogant and Obnoxious?
Well, yes, actually, that is pretty arrogant and obnoxious.
But that's not what I'm suggesting.
To explain let's look for a moment at what it means to own a
business from a larger perspective.
A concept mentioned by all the great spiritual teachers is that
of the "servant-leader." In Christianity the term "stewardship" is often used.
In more secular terms, the servant-leader means that the real
authority is a higher power: something bigger and grander than
ourselves: a greater good in the universe.
If you created your business as a means to make money and to make
a positive difference, your position as a business owner is an
interesting one.
In a sense your business is a vehicle to serve a greater good and
you get to be a steward: entrusted to do the right thing.
Part of doing the right thing is serving your customers.
And if the value your business offers is based in your expertise,
serving customers requires that you be an expert and stand in
what you know as an expert.
Drawing the Line Between Being an Expert in Service versus Being
an Argumentative Jerk
Ok, so where do you draw the line between holding an expert
position and being a blowhard?
This is where we check into our hearts and look at our motives.
Let's go back to the example of the massage therapist.
Let's say the massage therapist tells the client they need
weekly sessions if they want help with their lower back pain.
The client says, "I'm really busy and I can't afford to come
in every week, can't I get the same results if I come in a
couple times this month?"
The massage therapist has years of training and experience. He
knows that if the client doesn't follow his recommendation
chances are good that the client won't get the relief he wants.
This is a situation when, as an expert and business owner, it's
important to step into your role as a leader.
Your role is to check in with your expertise and heart for the
best course of action to help your customers get the support
they've come to you for.
The client may not like your recommendation and that's ok. They
may even leave and go to a competitor.
It's painful to lose a customer but customers who can't or
won't follow your guidance won't get the help they need anyway.
Keys to Being a Non-Jerky Boss:
- Give yourself a Break: You're Human!
No one does anything in business or otherwise because of a single
motive. Maybe you're in business mostly because you want to make
a difference but hey your ego likes being seen as an expert too.
Empathy for yourself is not a luxury, it's a necessity for
having effective relationships with others... including clients.
- Clarify, really why are you taking the position you're
taking?
It's not easy taking a stand--especially if it's likely to be
unpopular. Which is why it helps to stand solidly in what
underlies your perspective.
I find it helpful to ask yourself, "What's my highest intention
in this situation?"
In the case of the massage therapist, his highest intention
isn't absence of pain for his patients although that is one
outcome they get.
His highest intention is to help clients become more aware of
their bodies so they can learn to prevent conditions that led to
the pain to begin with.
- Find empathy for others
In our culture, it's easy to mistake taking a position for being "right" and those who don't share our position as being "wrong."
And when we get attached to our "right way" of doing something
we can sound critical and judgmental which leads to resistance
and defensiveness in others and drives them away.
Remember, even if you don't agree with someone's reason it
still feels true for them. There's a greater good in charge of
outcomes-- you and I are just humble servants.
- Remember it isn't About Being Right; It's About
Providing Leadership for Those Who Want What You Offer
This is probably the most important point to remember.
There are people, your "tribe" if you like that term, who care
about the same things you care about and are seeking like-minded
people with whom they can do business. These are the customers
who resonate with your highest intention.
You're job is to stand strongly in your position for these
customers so they can find you and feel supported by you.
This how you are in service as a business owner.
Bottom Line
When you own a business and offer expert advice, you're the
boss. You're the leader and customers are coming to you for your
leadership.
But just because you're in charge doesn't mean you have license
to be a jerk.
Effective leadership means remembering you're in the position
your in to serve a greater good: to support the customers who
share your values and need the solutions your business offers.
Judy Murdoch helps small business owners create low-cost,
effective marketing campaigns using word-of-mouth referrals,
guerrilla marketing activities, and selected strategic alliances.
To download a free copy of the workbook, "Where Does it Hurt?
Marketing Solutions to the problems that Drive Your Customers
Crazy!" go to http://www.judymurdoch.com/workbook.htm.
You can contact Judy at 303-475-2015 or [email protected].
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