One of the questions I get most regularly from associates
throughout our company is "how do I build a successful business
and maintain a quality family life?" I don't believe there is
one perfect answer to that question because people's
circumstances and attitudes on this subject can vary
substantially. I do think, however, there are some common sense
things which my wife, Cindy, and I have done over the years to
give us simultaneously a great family and business life.
First, you have to decide which is your top priority: your family
or your business. That sounds like a simple question, but many
people haven't totally committed to a quality marriage and
family life. Once you determine your family is your absolute
priority then you will always build the business around your
family life and not your family around your business life. After
making that decision, it is a matter of communication between
spouses, and structuring and planning your time.
For years Cindy and I worked side by side in the office. Prior to
the school years, we had our children there with us. As we worked
on different things we would hand them back and forth to each
other. When the kids were at the office during the day, we had a
play area for them and they had a thousand aunts and uncles on
the team who helped us with them. Even though I was in the field
on weeknights and Saturdays, Cindy was very diligent in keeping
me in the loop about every aspect of our children's lives.
Regularly she would tell me when I needed to take some time with
any of our three children. I was always willing to move
appointments around or otherwise clear some time to keep our
family happy and well. Anyone who tells you that you can't build
a big business and have a great family life is wrong. It won't
always be easy but what worthwhile thing is?
Someone once told me that some things in life are critical and
other things are important. The business is important, but your
family's welfare is critical. I love and enjoy the insurance and
financial services business, but nowhere near as much as our
faith or our family. It's easy to get caught up in the
competition, the desire for recognition, making money, and think
that is really important, but nothing contributes more to
personal happiness than a great family life. A powerful and true
story I heard at a church conference was of a father-son fishing
trip. The father was a busy and successful businessman and
cleared a day to be with his young son. Several days later, his
wife read their individual journal accounts. The father's entry
said words to this effect: "I went on a fishing trip with my
son, waste of a perfectly good day." The son's entry went like
this: "I went fishing with my Dad today, probably the best day
of my life." Our time here on Earth is short and our time with
our children is even shorter. With all the stress and fast pace
of life today, it is vital to keep in mind how much quality time
means to our loved ones. You have to schedule it and do whatever
it takes to make it happen. It will often mean far more to them
than you realize.
One word of warning about striving for perfect balance, you'll
never quite get there. Don't put so much pressure on yourself.
Just keep working on it from day to day. Learn from your mistakes
and experiences and just remember to keep your family first. With
that priority as your true North you can weather the storms and
crazy times that come when you commit to build an excellent life.
Work hard and make it happen!
Rich Thawley: Is an Executive Vice Chairman and member of World
Financial Group Chairman's Council. He has three children and
lives in Lodi, Calif., with his wife, Cindy, and youngest son,
Brett. (I don't think he'd want to share this with the free
world). This article first appeared in Opportunity, the http://www.wfgnewsroom.com/ company magazine, vol. 3/issue
4/Quarter 4 2008.
