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Put Your Best Face Forward
by Bill Lampton Ph.D.
Published on this site: March 25th, 2006 - See
more articles from this month
Blink - a recent book by Malcolm Gladwell - cites research to support the
concept that a person's face can do more than mirror the individual's mood. .
.it can create a mood for that individual. That is, if you start your day with
a defeated look, before long you will become downhearted, even angry. This, of
course, reverses the most commonly accepted thought pattern, that the mood comes
first, then the facial response.
The moral: Set the tone for your
day with a happy, confident face, and good things are likely to follow.
Well,
if our facial expressions impact us that much, how much does our countenance impact
others? Plenty, as you know. How we look to people shapes the impression we
convey. Example: When I speak or direct a seminar, within a couple of minutes
I can identify audience members who are highly interested and supportive, along
with those who appear bored, distracted, confused, and sometimes hostile. You
can do the same in conversations and in business meetings. Sure, once in awhile
we will misinterpret the way someone looks. Yet our guess will be accurate most
of the time.
Here is a classic case of a man who felt misinterpreted:
Though he was highly successful and prominent in his community, what struck most
people was his very dour-almost sour-expression. He confided to a friend: "You
know, people consider me glum and unfriendly. They think I'm a scowler. I try
to assure them I
don't mean anything by my demeanor, because I'm not aware
of a sullen expression. Even my mother used to tell me I needed to work on the
perception I'm creating."
Remember that the face includes the eyes.
Cicero said it well: "The eyes are windows to the soul." Look away
from someone while you are reporting on a work assignment, and your shifty eyes
might suggest you are hiding something. Blink excessively, and you could appear
insecure. Close your eyes even for a short instant, and they will think you are
ignoring them, or-even worse-drifting off to sleep.
More positively, maintain
steady eye contact to reflect poise and credibility. Notice how many people remove
their glasses when they want to impress you while they talk. They want no barrier
between you and their eyes.
Beware of frowning. When you are making
a sales call, a frown indicates to your prospect that you don't feel good about
the course of the presentation. You create discomfort for both of you, and lose
the likelihood of making a sale. When your supervisor tells you about a new approach
for operating the department, your frown could suggest your unwillingness to consider
the change.
The most pleasing look: One that fits the tone of the
meeting or conversation, and reinforces your message. Johnny Carson and Bob Hope
mastered the art of smiling and beaming at the appropriate time. They could milk
more laughter out of a joke, even a botched joke, than other comedians could because
of their
reinforcing facial expressions.
Similarly, the best photographs
taken of athletes in the most intense moments of a game showcase their faces,
which mirror determination, confidence, exertion, exhaustion, disappointment and
resilience. Golfer Tiger Woods has attracted millions of fans by his wide range
of grimaces, grins and concentration-just as
Arnold Palmer did during the
1960s.
From an opposite viewpoint, we dislike the speaker who smiles or
smirks when talking about life and death matters. When you break bad news, you
need a solemn face that matches the message.
The next time you're in a
social setting, pay special attention to the people around you. I'll bet the ones
you will want to meet are the men and women with animated, cheerful expressions.
Likewise, people will consider you attractive, even think of you as a leader,
when you smile, nod in agreement and give other
signs of warmth and openness.
When
I coach executives and other professionals, we videotape our simulated conversations.
The taping and the critique that follow pinpoint what my clients need to improve
in their demeanor. Once we have discussed problem areas, we videotape follow up
conversations, to see what improvements we can foster.
So, while you work
diligently on the content of an interview, sales call, meeting agenda and speech,
remember to "put your best face forward."
Bill
Lampton, Ph.D., helps organizations strengthen their communication, customer
service, motivation and sales, through his speeches, seminars, coaching and consulting.
His client list includes the Ritz-Carlton Cancun, CenturyTel, the University of
Georgia Athletic Association, the Missouri Bar
and Celebrity Cruises. He wrote
the book The Complete Communicator: Change Your Communication, Change Your Life!
Also, he has written articles for The Rotarian, Competitive Edge and the Atlanta
Business Chronicle. Visit his Web site and sign up for his complimentary monthly
e-mail newsletter: http://www.ChampionshipCommunication.com
To schedule him for your events, call 770-534-3425 or 800-39300114.
E-mail:
[email protected]
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