Pretend This is the 1st Valentine's Day of your Retirement

by Kim Kirmmse Toth

Published on this site: February 4th, 2006 - See more articles from this month

Let's just say your 5 or 10 or 15 years or so away from when you think your might retire. Some might call this the "Preretirement" stage. It's the period of time you have to plan and take a look at what you might want down the road. I truly suggest you really take this to heart!

Naturally, you will come from a different place in your life than your friends will. Let's take a look at some different scenarios and see if you fit into any of them.

1. You and your spouse both work at jobs you enjoy and find passion in. These jobs bring meaning to your life and you feel fulfilled.
   
   
2. You work and your spouse does not or your spouse works and you do not. Both find contentment in their roles within the relationship.
   
   
3. One of you finds contentment and satisfaction in your role and the other does not.
   
   
4. You are single. You love your job and can't imagine your life without it.
   
   
5. You are single. You can not wait to retire and finally do something you want to do that makes you happy.

Surely, there are other situations but those are an example of a few. Just suppose you are ten years from the time you would like to retire. Now, you can be flexible here with the word "retire." That can mean you leave your job totally, or begin to phase yourself out or you find another job that you have always wanted and you will Love.

Let me ask you some questions now. Just think about them for a bit before you jump to an answer. Give them some time to shift and settle. Your answer is not carved in stone! You are flexible! You can make changes as you need to along the way, to suit you at that time of your life.

1. You have had a very successful career and are well known for your accomplishments. You are used to getting accolades and constant reinforcement about how talented and special you are. You are now retired. You are no longer going to this place everyday where they think you are so wonderful.

• How are you going to handle this?
  
• Who is going to pat you on the back and let you know how great you are?
  
• Where are you going to get those positive and uplifting feelings from?

2. You have left your job and are just thrilled about being home more and spending time with your spouse. They, on the other hand, have their own life and they really don't want to rearrange their life to accommodate you.

• Now what are you going to do?
  
• Do you really expect your spouse to change their entire life for you?
  
• Will the two of you be able to compromise?

3. You can't wait to leave your job and enjoy your life. Your spouse wants to continue working for many more years.

• Are you going to insist your spouse quit their job to be with you?
  
• If they do continue working, what are you going to do?

4. You love your job! You are single. You are laid off!

• What are you going to do?
  
• Do you know what you love? What you have a passion for?

5. You are single. You finally get to retire and do what you have dreamed of!

• Do you have a plan?
  
• Do you know how to get what you want?
  
• How are you going to make this dream come true for you?

Okay. This is just a place to start. This is your "Preretirement" stage so you have lots of time to plan so that you don't get caught in a situation unprepared. Let this be a jumping off place for you. Take your time to mull over what you would like your life to look like. I promise you it will be worth the energy!

So, let me ask you; what are you going to do in those retirement years of yours?

Kim Kirmmse Toth is a licensed clinical social worker in private practice. In addition, she is a Certified Retirement Life Planning Coach who works with baby boomers who are savvy enough to plan ahead for their retirement years. She works with the non-financial side of retirement, a piece that can easily be ignored. Kim deals with all aspects of mid-life transition or women and men alike. Her work is based in Positive Psychology, helping people to use their strengths to achieve their goals and dreams. She runs teleclasses via the telephone and is available for workshops and other speaking engagements. She may be reached at 720-922-1201 or check her website at:
http://www.myretirementbydesign.com