Your current life: a blessing or a curse?
by Dr. Joan Marques
Published on this site: December 27th, 2005 - See
more articles from this month
Ever found yourself in doubt about the way your current life
is evolving, and how you should look at it? To put it plain:
Ever wondered if the status quo was actually a blessing or
a curse? Perhaps not. But for those who did wonder, this article
may be a soothing consolation that they are not alone in their
predicament. And since I have not done any research on the
topic, other than some soul searching, I cannot tell for sure
how large a percentage of the readers of this little write
up will be able to identify with the here presented perspective.
Before reviewing this unanswerable query a bit more intensely,
it might be useful to state some crucial facts: Life is a
sequence of decisions we make, and there’s actually no
telling whether our decisions will work out or not. The success
rate of the outcome of our decisions has to do, at least partially,
with our input after the decision has been made, and for the
rest with the generosity of the stars.
So now, once you have made a decision - and there will, of
course always be those bystanders that will come up with tons of reasons why
you have either acted too fast, too slow, or without sufficient consideration
of all factors - you will probably be running across moments
in which you thank heaven for your fortune, yet, also moments
in which you wonder what you had been smoking when you decided
to step into the boat you’re currently sailing in.
And at these points, depending on the intensity of your emotions,
you have, once again, a set of choices: you can continue to
follow the road you chose; you can decide to discontinue the
status quo, count your losses, and turn into a different direction;
or you can adjust some elements of the situation in hopes
of making things better. Yet, again, neither of these decisions
harbors the guarantee of succeeding everlastingly. One or
the other may have to do with the fact that you, being human,
are also subject to continuous change, and that the decision
you made yesterday, no longer matches the person you are today,
or will not suit the individual you will be tomorrow.
Now, returning to the possible ambivalence in perception
about your current life with consideration of the facts stated
above: One can ask the question whether there is such a thing
as continuous contentment with the choices one makes, regardless
of the effort one invests into the successful implementation
of these choices. For no matter what the nature of your decision
is, and the environment in which it transpires; work, home,
or elsewhere; the moments of doubt will most probably appear.
And, as stated before, it will depend on the intensity of
the doubt - when, how, and how frequently it surfaces - that
you will have to decide what your next step will be.
Life seems to be all about strategies. And strategies
are subject to change. Just like decisions, and just like
us. Nothing seems to last:
- If you’re living alone, you’ll regularly dread
the loneliness that this can bring, with no one to laugh
and cry with, or to hold you in moments of elation or grief.
Yet, when you have a partner, you may now and then find
yourself reminiscing about the good old days when you were
single and did not have to put up with the other’s
queers and qualms.
- If you are running your own business, you will regularly
dread the heavy toll of making all decisions on your own,
and not having a business partner who could contribute with
insight, effort, and finances. Yet, whenever you decide
to merge your enterprise with a counterpart, you may now
and then find yourself reminiscing about the times when
you could make decisions much faster, and did not have to
go through endless seeming deliberations about possible
strategies toward future successes.
- When you are employed in one work environment you may
regularly dread the backstabbing mentality and the hidden
agenda’s of most of your colleagues. Yet, when you
change jobs, and finally get settled into a new
workplace, you may come to the conclusion that this new
environment brings along a whole new set of treats and dissatisfactions,
and you may, subsequently, even find yourself now and then reminiscing
about the good old colleagues you left behind in your previous
workplace.
So, yes, change is good. But because change causes a changed
situation, while you, as a person, are also changing all the
time, and while the people, places, and situations around
you are changing as well, you may find your level of contentment
being elevated today, yet being way downhill tomorrow. And
you may find yourself wondering, whether your current life
is actually a blessing or a curse. Hard to say, I guess…
Dr. Joan Marques,
December 25, 2005
Joan Marques emigrated from Suriname, South America,
to California, U.S., in 1998. She holds a doctorate in Organizational Leadership,
a Master's in Business Administration, and is currently a
university instructor in Business and Management in Burbank,
California. Look for her books "Empowe the Leader in
You" and "The Global Village" in bookstores
online or on her website: http://www.joanmarques.com
It is better to live in serene poverty than in hectic abundance.
Everything has a price. The price for nurturing your soul
is turning away from excessive stress, destruction of self-respect,
and the constant strife in
lifestyle with the Joneses. But it's worth it.
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