See Me, Hear Me, Feel Me: The Art of Modern Communication!

by Dr Nathalie Fiset

Published on this site: December 23rd, 2005 - See more articles from this month

In our everyday lives, communication is almost as essential as breathing, whether we like it or not. Modern technologies and the ever growing web are making communication around the world possible in a matter of seconds. Why is interpersonal exchanges so unproductive then? Why is there more misunderstanding and divorces than ever? Part of the answer is that in our stressful, ever rapid changing society, we have forgotten the art of communication.

The first important step in communication is looking at the person you are trying to communicate with. Look for all those non-verbal clues and you will discover how the person is really receiving the message you are giving her. The body language is way more true than the words spoken. If a person says: "Yes, I am feeling good" with a grin on her face, her subconscious mind is reaching out to you. I have very often reflected the non-verbal messages I was picking-up from my patients. It always turned out to be a manifestation of their true feelings. They were very relieved to be able to open-up once I showed my receptivity.

This is the reason if a person is with another person, a prolonged cell phone conversation with other people just spells out; "You are not that important to me. I would rather talk about futilities with this remote person." ...so close your cell phones if you are already with someone.

Next, it has been described that people prefer certain communication modes more than others. A person who likes to see things is said to function more on a visual mode. For example, if I buy an e-book, I always have to print it and see it on paper. I also learn way more efficiently if I write the material I have to learn. Visual persons will express themselves with expressions like; "Nice to see you. Let's be clear on that. I get the picture", etc. Let's say for example that you start paying attention and you find out that your superior at work operates more on a visual pattern. You can use this knowledge whenever you address him a report or a note by providing him with colourful graphics and always leave him a printed version of what you have told him so he can look at it later.

Second, some people are said to be more auditory. They love to hear stuff. They usually have expressions like: "I hear you. Listen! Life is a sweat melody", etc. You will have more success with them by talking and playing with words.

Other people are said to be kinesthetic. They learn and interact with their environment by touching and feeling the different textures. I realized that children are naturally kinesthetic when I went to the flee market with three of my children and I must have said: "Don't touch!" at least sixty times in one hour. If you look at babies their whole world is explored by going through theirs hands, feet and mouth. We loose this marvellous way of communicating from all the interdiction around us and it is sad.. I know that next time I go shopping with my children, instead of forbidding them to touch anything, I will touch everything with them!

There is nothing like a good perfume for an olfactory person but tastes vary so much in this area that it is hard to please everyone.

We do not operate on just one mode but most people have a mode they favour. Once you know this, you can create way more productive exchanges with people around you. Hence, by addressing them on their favourite mode, you will be able to create a more efficient communication. This is the reason why so many children are incorrectly labelled ADD or ADHD and fed potent drugs. If only the school systems understood that they would get a way better success by offering children to learn on whatever mode they function best. Parents have a saying on how their children are thought.

What can you get out of all this? First, be curious and discover your favourite mode of communication. You can then use this strength to be more efficient in your work or at home. Then, you can explore the other modes and open-up to a whole new world. Next, have fun discovering other person's dominant mode of communication. Then, you can use this new knowledge to interact more efficiently with people around you.

When addressing a crowd, it is best to aim at reaching the most people possible by having an auditory presentation, visual material and have kinesthetic people enjoy themselves by having them move around or write notes.

Bottom of it all though is: The basis of communication will always be to look at a person in the eyes when they are talking and caring sincerely, it always shows!

Dr Nathalie Fiset is a family doctor, a certified hypnotherapist and a neuro-linguistic practitioner. She is the author of the powerful hypnosis for childbirth program Hypno-Beginning©. She is currently creating the powerful Alpha-Power© program for best mental and physical health with hypnosis. You can learn valuable information on natural childbirth on her web site at
http://www.hypno-beginning.com. You can also consult her other complete and professional web site on hypnosis for well-being at: http://www.aperfectharmony.com. To be notified when her Alpha Power© program will be ready, you can subscribe to her newsletter on the web sites.