How to Create Instant Rapport with Anyone
by David R. Barron and Danek S. Kaus
Published on this site: August 16th, 2005 - See
more articles from this month
What is Rapport and why is it so important? Rapport is the
foundation of persuasion. It is probably the most powerful
persuasion tool you can have in any setting.
With rapport everything is possible. Without it, nothing
is possible.
We've all had an experience of interacting with someone where
there is an immediate sense of liking each other. It is easier
to like someone when you have rapport, but liking someone
is not the same thing as rapport. In fact you can create rapport
with someone you don't like. Nor is it necessary for them
to like you in order to create rapport.
Rapport is not so much liking as it is responsiveness. You've
probably interacted with people who've been aggressive, and
you responded aggressively. The two of you go back and forth
in a dance of hostility. Believe it or not, that is a form
of rapport, but probably not the kind you're looking for.
You may have heard the phrase, "People like people who
are like themselves." It is easier to have rapport with
someone who may share such similarities as culture, education,
height and hair color. But what happens when people from different
cultures with different hair color interact?
How to you develop rapport with someone who is very different
from you? You become like that person on much subtler levels.
Rapport is created by some of the things you do, by what you
say and how you say it.
Rapport can allow you to interact so effectively with someone
that you become friends in a very short time. If that is what
you are seeking, great. However, if you are trying to make
a sale, you may get so distracted talking about other things
that you forget the reason for your visit and walk out empty
handed. So remember your reason for creating rapport in the
first place.
INSTANT RAPPORT
Now it's time to learn some specific techniques that can
help you create rapport with just about anyone in a matter
of seconds. Two of the most basic and easiest to master are
Mirroring and Matching.
MIRRORING
Mirroring is doing the same types of body behaviors as someone
else as though you are looking at yourself in a mirror. When
you are facing someone, if they cross their left leg, you
cross your right leg, in effect creating a mirror image of
their body position. If the person you are with leans to the
right in their chair, you lean to your left, again creating
a mirror image.
WARNING: Do not mirror someone immediately. Wait three
to five seconds and then gradually move. If you mirror someone
immediately, she will think you are mimicking her and become
offended. If you adjust your body gradually, she will not
notice what you are doing,. But you have to mirror her exactly.
MATCHING
Matching is doing the same thing that somebody else is doing
with their body. If he crosses his left leg, you cross your
left leg, and so on, after waiting three to five seconds.
Some of you may not feel comfortable mirroring and matching
another person. Too bad. It is not how comfortable you feel
that matters but how comfortable you make the other person
feel. If you are not willing to feel uncomfortable, consider
the unspoken message of not being willing to mirror and match:
"I am only willing to be with you just so much, I am
not comfortable enough with you to give up myself."
Ask yourself this question: Do I want to be someone that
other people feel comfortable around? If the answer is yes,
then start mirroring and matching.
The results will amaze you.
NEXT TIME: Rapport and the Magic of VAK
Adapted from the new book, "Power Persuasion: Using
Hypnotic Influence in Life, Love and Business," by David
R. Barron and Danek S. Kaus.
David R. Barron and Danek S. Kaus are the authors
of "Power Persuasion: Using Hypnotic Influence to Win
in Life, Love and Business." To learn more visit
http://www.power-persuasion.com/book
Get more success tips at http://winnersedge.blogspot.com
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