"A baby is God's way of saying the world should go on."
- Doris Smith
"My Dad knew I was going to be a comedian. When I was a
baby he said, 'Is this a joke?" - Ken Dodd
"Being touched and caressed, being massaged, is food for
the infant; food as necessary as minerals, vitamins, and proteins.
Deprived of this food, the name of which is love, Babies would
rather die. And often they do." - Frederick Leboyer
"I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking
their thumbs. Then I tasted "baby food." - Robert Orben
"Did you ever notice that a new baby always seem to bear
a striking resemblance to the relative who has the most money?"
- Robert Paul
"There are three reasons for breast-feeding: the milk is
always at the right temperature; it comes in attractive containers;
and the cat can't get it." - Irena Chalmers
"You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely
suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual
baby emerging from her at that moment." - Dave Barry, "Things
That It Took Me 50 Years to Learn"
"It sometimes happens, even in the best of families, that
a baby is born. This is not necessarily cause for alarm. The important
thing is to keep your wits about you and borrow some money."
- Elinor Goulding Smith
"Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops
babies from crying. (Put an empty cigarette pack on your nose
for a horn and make loud "snort" noises.) I don't know
why parents on't do this more often. Usually it makes the kid
laugh. Sometimes it sends him into shock. Either way it quiets
him down. If you're a parent, acting like a rhino has another
advantage. Keep it up until the kid is a teenager and he definitely
won't have his friends hanging around your house all the time."
- P.J. O'Rourke
"It is a pleasant thing to reflect upon, and furnishes
a complete answer to those who contend for the gradual degeneration
of the human species, that every baby born into the world is a
finer one than the last." - Charles Dickens
"If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of
scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you,
let a young mother hear you call dear baby `it'." -Jerome
K. Jerome
"Every new baby is a blind desperate vote for survival:
people who find themselves unable to register an effective political
protest against extermination do so by a biological act."
- Lewis Mumford
"Babies are necessary to grown-ups. A new baby is like
the beginning of all things - wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities.
In a world that is cutting down its trees to build highways, losing
its earth to concrete... babies are almost the only remaining
link with nature, with the natural world of living things from
which we spring." - Eda J. Le Shan
"A woman has two smiles that an angel might envy - the
smile that accepts a lover before words are uttered, and the smile
that lights on the first born babe, and assures it of a mother's
love." - Thomas C. Haliburton
"I don't know any parents that look into the eyes of a
newborn baby and say, How can we screw this kid up." - Russell
Bishop
"Families with babies and families without are so sorry
for each other." - Ed Howe
"If you want a baby, have a new one. Don't baby the old
one." -
Jessamyn West
"There is no finer investment for any community than putting
milk into babies." - Winston Churchill
"People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have
one." -Leo J. Burke
"A baby is born with a need to be loved and never outgrows
it." -
Frank A. Clark
Bridget Mwape writes for the Baby Shop UK: http://www.baby-shop.org.uk/
which features baby information including articles and discounts
on baby products, gifts and advice from other parents. This article
may be republished as long as all the above links are active and
clickable and this author box (byline) is not edited.
