4 Steps to Magical People Skills
by Peter Murphy
Published on this site: April 7th, 2005 - See
more articles from this month...
Improving your People Skills can seem a difficult thing to accomplish
but it can be done. Nothing is more uncomfortable than inadequate
people skills.
Below are a few basic steps to take so that improving your people
skills becomes not only a change but a better lifestyle for you.
Step #1 Cut the nervousness out! Remember people are not
out to murder or attack you, they are just here to socialize both
personally and in business.
If that doesn't help remember that if you are nervous then the
other person probably is too. If you still feel butterflies in your
stomach after trying to calm done just try and act calm.
Sometimes just acting as if you are calm is enough to trick your
mind into feeling like you are calm. The mind is easily fooled so
act calm and your butterflies should follow.
Step #2 Improve the body language in your people skills.
Crossing your arms is subconsciously offensive because you display
a piece of aggression, stating that you would rather not become
deeply engaged in the conversation and that possibly you might be
bored.
If you are seated, crossing your legs displays the same message.
Try and keep your arms down, hands in the pockets are fine.
Try and keep your legs down and if you are standing don't sway.
Swaying implies again that you are bored or that you are in a hurry.
Step #3 Improve the conversation part of your people skills.
Nervousness is a common occurrence when it comes to interacting
with other people, it doesn't have to be an obstacle though.
Watch the conversation and don't let those uncomfortable pauses
scare you. Remember if you are nervous there is a good chance that
the other person is nervous as well, so just take it easy.
Try small talk, like the weather or the economy or things locally
that you have in common such as the job or what's been on television
lately. When you see the conversation picking back up then just
let it flow naturally and if you need to guide it back to a more
important topic.
Something else to remember in the conversation is to avoid talking
over the other person. Watch the person's reaction and if your are
really worried about interrupting, try and anticipate their next
move.
Above all, apologizing instead of simply ordering the person to
continue speaking when you interrupt is never overrated. Being polite
is the easiest way to improve your social skills.
Step #4 Ending the Conversation. Knowing how to end conversation
is just as important in improving your social skills as holding
the conversation is.
Holding onto a conversation that is clearly over, labels you as
annoying and selfish. Watch the other person's movements and actions.
We as humans have very subtle but dependable signs of letting each
know when we are through.
If the other person tends to refer to their "to do" list
for the day or are constantly shifting their body weight or displaying
other physical signs of boredom, let them go.
Improving your people skills can be hard and may take longer than
anticipated based on your anxiety level and the previous exposure
you've had to the social world. Don't worry though, keep trying,
good people skills are the foundation for success!
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing
Communication Confidence. This report reveals the secret strategies
all high achievers use to communicate with charm and impact.
Apply now because it is available for a limited time only
at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
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