Martha Meets Igor and Conquers FUD

by George R. Marshall

Published on this site: May 16th, 2004

This discussion may not apply to you but to someone you know. Back in Fred Flintstone's time, mankind (and womankind too) thought dragging rocks around was just fine. Then some bloke invented the wheel. Well, not quite.

What actually happened was one of our ancestors - most likely irritated over all the work of dragging rocks around- kicked a dead tree trunk in frustration and discovered the tree trunk rolled. Then, somehow, some rock landed on the rolling trunk and our ancestor saw that it moved more easily.

The point? Our ancestor was directly involved in the whole discovery process. Unless we are in direct contact with technology, we personally discover very little. We miss a lot if we're not able to touch and feel the knobs and buttons - if it remains remote. Even when exposed to all the wonderful things technology can do for us, we won't understand most of the discussion at all. Instead, we will experience FUD: Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt. Very often that doubt will pertain to our own intelligence and abilities.

Many intelligent people feel they are too stupid to use computers. Unless we get our hands on the "wee-beastie", we could easily continue to suffer from technophobia. Sounds serious, doesn't it? It is, because with technophobia we will never explore how information technology can be used strategically. We will never understand fully how to apply information technology to our needs. We will always depend upon others to tell us what to do and we will never know whether they are guiding us correctly.

The tail will be wagging the dog. Technologists will determine policy rather than policy makers determining application. Do you still know of executives who continue to avoid direct use of easy-to-use micro-computers and insist that computers are simply a substitute for typewriters for use by their secretaries? Many executives, professors in university, and other professionals do not know how to type - even with two fingers. In this day and age that is akin to not knowing how to drive a car.

This same executive is cut off from using electronic spread- sheets, personal management information systems, data- bases, e-mail, idea processors, business graphics, and a myriad of other applications that could all make his or her business life easier, more effective, and more profitable. I know of senior sales managers and representatives in computer companies who do not use the technology available through their own companies. They do not use notebook computers for tracking sales leads and follow-up. They produce their sales reports and projections by hand.

Too many of us are still dragging rocks around because we are not aware of the information technology "wheels" that are readily available for immediate use and benefit.

In practice, it is often solutions, not problems that come first. Without prior knowledge of the application of technology, you never get to the next step, which is identifying a problem. Allow me to offer an example. Let us assume you are a 17th Century farmer. You have this beautiful going fields that you have cleared of tree stumps and rocks using a team of oxebn to help you. In the middle of this field is a large extrusion of granite, the very bedrock of the earth that has been pushed up into your field. Since there is no way you can remove this massive boulder you do not perceive it as a problem but simply as something you have to plough around..

Now let's transport you three centuries forward to modern times. You are aware of dynamite, bulldozers and backhoes. You plan on blowing off the top of that boulder sometime soon so you can plough straight furrows across the entire field. You see the boulder as a problem because you have knowledge of the technology, the solution.

Thus perceiving a problem sometimes depends upon knowing a solution.

Being afraid of technology, seeing technology at odds with nature, is .. well . unnatural. Ninety per cent of our bodily functions, as Bucky Fuller was fond of pointing out, are automatic. If we had to think about how to lift a glass of water to our lips, we would die of thirst!

I recall one computer installation back in the days before desktop computers were common in business. When the bookkeeper/office manager heard of a proposed new accounting system, she feared she would be replaced by the computer. Martha was convinced to stay-the engineers would have been lost without her--but she was afraid the computer would make her look stupid. So we planned a strategy. My office manager, Beth, would take Martha out for lunch and a drink and then invite her over to our office for an introduction to the computer. In the meantime, the computer was programmed, at the press of any key, to display the message, "Hello Martha, I am your friendly computer and I am really looking forward to working with you. Love, Igor." Martha came into our office clutching her hand- bag in front of her as if warding off demons that might be lurking in dark-technology corners. I greeted Martha with a warm smile and pointed to "Igor" and said, "See this box of nuts, bolts, wires and stuff. Soon it will be yours! Go bang on one of its keys."

Martha kept her distance. I grabbed her hand and, before she could protest, pushed her finger down on the keyboard-- up popped the message. Martha smiled. Needless to say, she went on to become our strongest supporter, the best user and the prime tutor of others in the office. She woke up to new technology. While this story may be a bit dated, it reveals the common human tendency to be wary of anything new - especially technology. We invite you to take the following test to determine your level of FUD and please feel free to pass this on to others.

DIAGNOSTIC TEST FOR COMPUTER PHOBIA

Created In a moment of gleeful madness by Drs. W. Lambert 'Scot' Gardiner and George R. Marshall

Do you suffer from Computer Phobia? Please complete the following questionnaire to find out. Choose Y(for "yes") if you agree with the statement and N(for "no") if you disagree.

1. I am suffering from culture shock in my own culture, since my familiar world is getting stranger and stranger. Y N
   
   
2. I resent opening my eyes first thing in the morning not to the welcoming face of my familiar two-handed clock which maps the day and informs me that it is yet still young but to a digital clock which announces abruptly and shrilly that it is 06:32. Y N
   
   
3. I object to the strange squiggles on the side of the Kellogg's corn flakes box, which I can't read, and the mini-micro computer inside, which I can't use. Y N
   
   
4. Some of my colleagues, cocktail correspondents, and even my children are talking an incomprehensible language, in which bytes, nybbles and gulps have nothing to do with eating and drinking. Y N
   
   
5. My boss is hinting darkly that the cost of computing is coming down, the cost of labor is going up, and that soon the two curves will cross. Y N
   
   
6. My wife has just read in Ms. Magazine that she can replace me with some electronic gadget costing $50.00 (fifty dollars). Y N
   
   
7. I'm apprehensive when I read about Fifth Generation computers, which make 100,000 decisions a second, while I take five minutes to decide whether to have my eggs fried or scrambled. Y N
   
   
8. I'm tired of pompous statements about the "emerging information society" and gee-whiz statements about "the incredible shrinking chip". Y N
   
   
9. I'll puke the next time I hear that chips (once again inedible) are getting smaller and smaller, faster and faster, cheaper and cheaper, smarter and smarter, and if transportation technology had progressed at the same rate, I could buy a Cadillac for $2.95, which I could drive twice around the world on a gallon of gas, and park in a matchbox. Y N
   
   
10. I'll strangle the next person who tells me that the new information machines are amplifying the power of the mind as the bicycle amplified the power of the legs and the shovel amplified the power of the arms - only we are no longer talking about bicycles and shovels, but jets and bulldozers; an eight-year old child has, in his/her home computer, the power available only to giant corporations for millions of dollars ten years ago; or any variations of this statement. Y N
    
    
11. I'm suffering from acronym shock - as I encounter RAM and ROMs, VDTs and CRTs, DOSs and DATs. It's like swimming in a sea of alphabet soup. Y N
    
    
12. I think they (who ever they are) are making better and better mousetraps and selling them to the mice. It is time to squeak up. Y N
    
    
13. I get a nervous "tique" every time I hear words like "bureautique", "privatique", "telematique". The only scenario I am interested in is the "pique" scenario, in which people say "enough" to technology. Y N
    
    
14. I'm afraid to jump on the "information society" bandwagon but I'm afraid not to jump on it, since my competitors who do so will have a tremendous advantage. Y N
    
    
15. I hear that the Third Wave is coming and that I will be wiped out if I do not "hang ten" on a circuit board. Y N
    
    
16. I'm told that my home will become a "womb with a view", as my contact with the outside world will become increasingly mediated by new information machines. I don't want to live there, even if it is a womb for two with a magnificent view. Y N
    
    
17. Video display terminals cause eyestrain, headaches, dizzy spells, blackouts, nausea, cataracts, facial rash, neck and back pain, anxiety, stress, depression, "burnout", loss of productivity, fatigue, irritability, cardiovascular problems, neurological changes, - and hair to grow on your palms. Y N
    
    
18. The balance of nature, in which the arrogance of youth is countered by the arrogance of experience, is being upset, as both arrogances shift to one side of the balance. It is not my side. Y N
    
    
19. I think I'll go off to Rhodesia to join the middle managers who are selling slide-rules and buggy-whips. Y N
    
    
20. "1984" is here on schedule. So is the "global village". The computer is the village gossip, who will tell Big Brother everything he (she?) wants to know about me. I'd leave the village but, as yet, there is no place to go. Y N

Count the number of Ys you have chosen in the test. If your score is more than 10, you may suffer from "Computer- phobia".

Now for the good news. You needn't worry. It's not a terminal disease. Actually, it is a fear-of-terminal disease. Now for the very good news. It is curable. Needless to say, at least part of the cure involves:

Subscribing to this free eZine: Winners Never Quit, Quitters Never Win at: http://www.freewebs.com/ezinexplosion/

Joining the Entrepreneurship & Ecology online course at:
http://class.universalclass.com/secure/312/10965/

Buying Dr. Marshall's most recent e-books entitled: From a World of Madness to a World of Sanity: Guides for Action And Getting Old is Just a Thought: Staying Youthful While You Fall Apart

At: http://www.freewebs.com/ezinexplosion/

Dr. George R. Marshall
523 Black River Road,
Scotsburn, Nova Scotia B0K 1R0
Phone: 902-351-2137 Email: [email protected]

Visit http://www.drgeorgem.us/ for information on myself and my writing.