Lessons Learned Today
by Joan Marques
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Published on this site: January 2004 - See
more articles from this month
Everyday
is unique in its own way. Yet, some days feel better than others. Those are the
ones where the traffic lights all seem to jump on green when you get near, when
people are smiling, and when things seem to go well in every area. But then there
are those days where you feel like shooting everything and everybody: nothing
seems to fit, no one seems to cooperate, and everything seems to be set against
you. We've all been there.
It is unfortunate, though, that we often neglect
the fact that the latter described days are as natural a part of life as the first.
And yet, many cultures, religions, and wise individuals have tried to teach it
to us during many centuries: everything needs to be balanced out. There cannot
be good without bad, there cannot be happy without sad; there cannot be dark without
light, and there cannot be day without night.
All I'm trying to say here
is that the "bad" days, as we perceive them, have as much meaning in
our lives as the good ones. We just don’t notice their purpose at the time
that they're happening to us. But, like I told a young man the other day: sometimes
blessings manifest themselves, disguised as curses. It's only later that we realize
why we had to go through the pain of a horrid experience. Oftentimes it turns
out to be because there was something much better for us in store.
Now,
about those bad days: Although we may not always see their purpose right away,
we can still do something constructive with them. We can review them at their
end, and mentally list the lessons we learned from what happened within them.
We can also modify the retrospective emotions toward those days by formulating
our evaluations in a positive way. We can, for instance, develop a standard list
of affirmative focus points for every day’s end.
Here's an example
of such a list:
- Who was the nicest person I met today, and what did
he or she do that
stood out compared to the rest?
- What was
the most unique action I undertook today, and why did I do it?
-
What was the most beautiful thing I encountered today, and what was it
that
alerted me on its beauty?
- What was the strongest statement I
heard today, and what did I find so
exceptional about it?
-
What was the most valuable act I executed today, and why do I consider it
important?
-
What was the most pleasant thing I did today, and why did I enjoy it that
much?
The
list can be shorter or longer, and, of course, entirely different in formulation,
depending on what you want to focus on. But once you have your positive attention
points listed it is easy to subsequently formulate the lessons you learned from
those points.
And, believe it or not, nine times out of ten the ugly day
won't seem as ugly as it felt while you were going through it. Try it. You might
like it!
Joan Marques, holds an MBA, is a doctoral candidate
in Organizational Leadership, and a university instructor
in Business and Management in Burbank, California. You may
visit her web site at www.joanmarques.com
Joan's manual "Feel Good About Yourself," a six
part series to get you over the bumps in life and onto success,
can be purchased and downloaded at:
www.non-books.com/FeelGoodSeries.html
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